Well as some selected of you might know, im actualy in the goddamned army now, the place i least would want to find myself in...

My point is, the shortest time you have to serve in the army here in Finland is half a year, and that is what i had aimed for. my plan was to be a medic and have to do as little with guns as possible.

but no...

I, apparently, were too smart and in too good physical shape to be a lucky half-year man, and so they put me in the so called "school". the school which trains you to be a corporal= a whole one year man...

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK!!!

me, of all people, really..i mean, i could lead a band, or an artist group, BUT NOT A GROUP OF SOLDIERS!! i mean, i loath the whole idea of this place, it is totally useless, i mean, if Russia desided to attack us, we would loose our air supremacy in 16 seconds (a fact). I hate firearms (only loosers use them)and this goddamn descipline they try to put up, which doesnt really even work. you dont have to use your brains here at all, you can simply leave them at home...

it is sayd that army if the biggest sport school in finland. BULLSHIT! i can feel my muscles and my basic shape degraiting day by day. back in the normal life i could smoke all i want and not being worried for my fittness, but here...we mostly spend our time in the ever-so-green forests of Finlant. In the snow. In the rain. In -15c.

we just came back fom a 2 weeks "camp" from rovaniemi. mostly2 hours of sleep per night. cold, wet. PLUS THATS ON THE NORTHERN SIDE OF THE ARCTIC SIRCLE!! can you belive it...you walk out of your tent in the morning and te first thing you see is a stag..only 4 hours of dim daylight per day...and the shit they make you eat..i dont really want to know.

sometimes, killing yourself does seem like an option, not a sighn of surrender..